We Stopped Pretending...

Some relationships have expiration dates! I wish it was easy to spot it, though. For instance, when I buy milk, that's the first thing I look for on the carton. Knowing that expiration date will determine what size carton I'd purchase because I would need to be able to finish the milk by that date. No one wants to be wasteful with their money, even if it's on milk.

It's time, energy and money that is being expended in a relationship. Who wants to keep using expired milk? It's sour and it smells bad! So in relationships, why continue to engage in something after its expiration date? Why invest more time, energy and money if the expiration date is within a week? Don't you agree that it will start to turn sour and actions and attitudes will start to stink? The problem to all of this is we never seem to recognize or be aware of the expiration date ahead of time. Heck, it sneaks up on us due to some issue that arise in the relationship. And you know how that goes, once the expiration date has been identified via behaviors, one or both parties start to pretend because they're scared to hurt the other person's feelings. Or... they're scared to let go!

Then that moment finally comes when you can truly say "We Stopped Pretending." And that's OK!

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As humans, after a while of being in a relationship (of any sort) we become accustomed to it: good, bad or indifferent. We are creatures of habit! That's why it is important that before you allow anyone to enter into your life and take root in your heart, ask God to reveal to you the purpose of that person. You know the saying, "People come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime." Investigate that before you expend any time, energy and money.

But that's easier said than done. I remember this one guy I had met a few years back, he was so handsome that it took my breath away. But the friendship was a roller coaster from the beginning. And I never really did the homework in getting understanding as to his purpose in my life. So consequently I stayed in it and I started to expend a lot of my time. But unexpectedly, that roller coaster became comfortable for me. In other words, I got accustomed to it. The friendship started to get sour in more ways than one and attitudes started to smell pretty bad. We wrestled with the fact that the expiration date had come and gone. We even made excuses: "You can technically still drink milk a couple days after the expiration date; it won't kill you." Translation: "We've been together for some time now, why let that go to waste to start over with a new person?" But finally, we had a real and honest conversation and realized that we both needed to stop pretending that this was something it wasn't. We are two good people but just weren't compatible. Now of course, after all that time, it was seriously hard to let go of it. But eventually we did!

Maybe you can relate to this and it's time to stop pretending... don't continue to lie to yourself about where you and that other person are.

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Although milk expires and turns sour, remember that this is the basic ingredient when making cheese. So sometimes things take time to become what it needs to become. Maybe even a better version of what it was. If you feel strongly that it's meant to be, then walk away gracefully. Make the healthy decision for your state of mind and well being.  It will come back around at some point if it's supposed to. And if it doesn't, rest assured that you made the right decision when you stopped pretending.

to you,

kim

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